The big T word....

The idea of trust is one which many people have great difficulty in adopting as a factor to be guided by in their lives. Perhaps it may be because they are unaware of how important it is as a space of spiritual benefit. I am certainly a great advocate of practicality and common sense being high on the list of methodologies that are essential to a well ordered life; but equally believe that a life devoid of the premise of trust will ultimately imprison one in the confines of insularity and insensitivity.

Last week I encountered two incidents where I was obliged to re-examine relationships in which I took the fabric of trust as an unstated safety net. Interestingly what became exposed in these spaces of enquiry was how individuals are often emotionally intimidated by the sacrifice that may be essential for the value of trust to be evidenced, and the camouflage that is used to cover-up their inability to be honest within these situations where trust is sought.

What surfaces with every such incident where trust is squandered, is that we create and build up divides that validate suspicion. We choose to hold rigid and inflexible approaches to the governance of our personal politics and push away the very basic potential to accommodate a more inclusive philosophy. Of course it is always more comfortable to please oneself and be free of accountability to another; but these very areas in life are the spaces of possibility to open up our worlds to an enlightenment that steers the focus away from just the self. In nurturing others is the true learning space in which we too hold the key to know ourselves better.

The gift of trust for me is priceless, and one which suggests the truth of integrity of an individual. But this has to be a self monitored conscience, dictated by the spirit of who we are and what we choose to define as our humanness.

The measure of trust is not in the articulation of how we verbalize it, but in the actions that position the engagement of consideration in the lives of others. Small gestures, or even spaces of conflict, provide us those necessary tests to evidence this gift to one another. But the rigidity of thinking trips us and obscures the wisdom that is often blatantly obvious; and we each chain ourselves and others to those mediocre choices of selfish gain alone.

I think I have had many spaces of learning that taught me to find that bridge to cross where I could discover the benefit of the risk of trust.Because of course there are umpteen times when you are flat on your face because that safety net that you believe is there to catch you, just disappears. But the lessons of hurt far out way the joy of openness that trust brings with it and the enrichment to know that others too are of consequence and in need.

For those who falter, and fear that trust will take away their freedom from them, then such tight and insular worlds will only finally suffocate the spirit to grow in harmony.

A specially packed suitcase of love....

My friend Ramesh Vedanbatla is visiting with us; and yesterday as I was rolling with laughter after dinner, sitting with him and our extended family of the collective, I knew that the spirit of such friendships are what gives me so much energy in my life. He brought me this beautiful silk sari of bougainvillea pink-purple with a kesar yellow pallav and border : both colour from the memories of my days as a student, where the two of us are rooted from common experiences and the connection of our creative explorations.

The gift of the sari is indeed special, but he brought with him another gift that made me know in that instance just how precious these shared interludes really are. Carried all the way from his studio in Vishakapatnam is a treasure of a book in two volumes, bound in the most startling of red covers, titled Tibetan Medical Paintings. He brought this specially to share with us because the paintings that come alive from those pages are some of his favourite works of art. The exquisiteness of these watercolours are breath taking, but more exciting is the idea of taking what is your secret love and allowing another person to bear witness to it's uniqueness too.

His eyes were bright with the excitement of opening up this treasure trove of visuals, and to invite our sensibilities into the seduction of its sheer magic. I was so stunned by this gesture of sharing. It brought to me the essence of all that communication should really always be about, and as each of us take turns in drowning in this book of strange yet extraordinarily amazing paintings, the true delight for me will remain my friend's gesture of desiring to share it with me.

I caught myself being so terribly bored recently when I had invited some people over for lunch. I found that the connections of discourse could only remain at the trivial superficiality that added up to nothing more than a waste of time for me. I reflected upon this (because it was a strange feeling to encounter), and I think that Ramesh's visit perhaps puts things into perspective. Communication of relevance occurs only when you find the ability to have something to share, and more importantly if there is a desire to receive.

Today a group of us old artists friends are meeting for dinner at a mutual friends place. Besides the good food and the laughter that I know there will be plenty of; I know more precious than anything else will be the sharing of ideas that will somehow tuck itself into the overall tamasha of us being together. And this will be what each of us carry away as the significant memory of the time we spend together.

So cheers to great friends and the dreams that they bring with them, in the gestures and affection that spells these unions of tenderness.

Sex, scandals and scatterbrains!

A rose by any name still has the same Khusboo !

Finally will people with nothing better to do stop filing legal cases about non issues! What a waste of time to even consider that somebody cannot have a differing opinion in a democracy. For crying out loud, of course pre-marital sex occurs in India, and any body who thinks otherwise is a complete idiot living in a closed box. Our problem in India is that we are such hypocrites! With aids and sexually transmittable diseases as the truth of today's reality, why do we not want to propagate safe sex? This christian idea that celibacy is the way to eternal salvation and that virginity is the bridal gift at the alter of marriage is all very well as a personal choice; but to believe that a modern and empowered society is to be umbrellaed by such archaic conservative opinions as a "national anthem" of existence is a ridiculous assumption. No one section of a society has any right to harass a person who offers a differing opinion, and waste years of their time and energy having to run from one court to another to validate what is an obvious truth. So put the brakes on this stupidity because what goes around, come around too; so take a chill pill buddies and get a hobby or do something to occupy your obvious free time with more purpose!

Thou shalt not tell a lie!

What about the good old catholic priests and the Vatican following some of what they dish out from their pulpits to their congregations about not telling lies or lies being that baddy-thing called a SIN! Well molesting children and sexually abusing children and THEN covering up these horrifying acts of deliberate will is just (excuse the pun) GOD AWFUL and certainly qualifies as being hugely sinful! I left religion behind at the age of thirteen because the farce of so many do's and don't became too obvious to ignore especially as the contradictions of the biblical teachings were there to see in the examples of too many nuns and priests that I observed. A true leader must acknowledge when things go wrong and define accountability and reform. One Pope after another walks the same dodgy path of cover-up's and prefer to be bothered about censoring films (!) or reacting to witticisms on condoms (!!) with aggressive might and anger. What a sham and what a betrayal of the trust and belief that a congregation of followers gifts to the institution of the faith that they look towards for spiritual and moral guidance. So clean up your act Sir. If you are wearing white, stay clean!

When will Britain learn....

I loved the faux pas that good old Gordon Brown made when his grumblings about a lady constituent got recorded because his microphone was still on. The bumbling British politician at his best, he then went and tried to do damage control by apologising on a radio talk show......only this time Mr. PM did not realise that cameras were rolling and as he sat with his head in his hands, making odd faces and with a strange body language that looked straight out of a comic strip, he became the butt of more ridicule once again! Well so much for empire building capabilities, what?! GB'S house looks like it will fall apart soon. Do I see Tony Blair grinning from ear to ear?!

A fish bowl world.

I am often floored by the attitudes of young affluent Indian women who are in their early twenties. Many of whom have completed their graduations and sit idol with too much time on their hands; and who openly propagate that their fathers don't "allow" them to work, and that they too have no desire to do so either! WOW and double WOW!

Yesterday as I sat in the changing room at the gym, this young and chirpy girl flaunted this brazen attitude of moneyed lethargy, as she winsomely pouted to me that "daddy's girl" was spending her life just having a good time! Good manners forced me to keep the vitriolic retort firmly suppressed behind the grimace that passed off as a friendly smile from my end, and I scurried away as my hands itched to give her a good spanking and get some sense into that fluffy air brain of hers!

But the truth of the matter is that we still cultivate such regressive attitudes in Indian society. Education for the girl child isn't always about creating a future of opportunities for her that engage her capabilities, and insists upon her defining her monetary independence and self worthiness. On the contrary it is really time-pass and a badgy-boo certificate for baby's marriage market debut.

Even in the art community I am often so angered by the "lazy wife syndrome" that I see too much of in Baroda itself. These are not choices that are made by women who are defining being home makers with the intellectual grasp of what such a choice is all about or the philosophy it is rooted in. The "lazy wife syndrome" is all about traditional constructs that still patina the so called modern thinking woman, and it becomes a convenience that shields women from the hard work it requires to be truly independent.

It is the middle class woman of India, and the women from the poorer sections of our society who really inspire me with their power to be a work force and contribute to the earnings of their homes and families. As the la-di-dah diamonded beauties talk endlessly on cellphones, spend hours in beauty parlours and spas, and anguish over which night spot/party to be seen at in the evening; an entire nation with so much that could use their capabilities, hangs in the balance of development and progress which so urgently needs attention and energy of the youth of this country.

But that apart. I also witness the breakdown of women who are over protected by fathers and in-laws, and when circumstances change and they are obliged to encounter their own selves to mediate decisions, then many times emotional derailments occur that are tragic to watch.

So daddy dear you may just keel over with a heart attack, and baby dear may just have a disastrous marriage where son-in-law money-bags diddles pouty Missy Gucci out of her pocket money allowance for ever! Get real and let's all cut the crap of this awful gender bias once in for all. Women as arm candy belongs in 007 James Bond C grade films that personally I find objectionable; and lazy babes are like decomposing veggies in a garbage dump! Do I need to say more?! I think you get the picture.

For whom the bell tolls....

I was invited to inaugurate a wonderful exhibition of childrens art today, done by the school children of Navrachana School in Baroda; and I have come away so delighted to have witnessed the energies of creative endeavour, and perhaps more importantly, the absolute magic of innocence that the work held at its core.

I still have kept my favourite works of Mithun done when he was a child, and though not framed, they are carefully kept in a portfolio along with my own art works, as they are extremely precious to me. I will not deny that sentiment plays a major role with this safe keeping; but what is more relevant is that child art holds such poignantly honest methods of communication which posses the ability to translate effortlessly.

I always urge art students from colleges and practicing artists too, to take time to view events such as these. Today surrounded by these beautiful children of varying ages, I felt so empowered to know that good educational institutions understand the value of developing the creative faculties of growing minds.

We need more teachers who will not create hierarchies that place the science subjects at the top of the order of merit and make learning a holistic experience to which children can adapt their potential abilities to; allowing them therefore to find the correct path to engage their future developmental processes with.

Standing in the corridor of the school with my old friend Tejal Amin who is the director of this institution, and as the school bell rang to indicate the termination of the days timetable, we were both transported back to the nostalgia of our own school days as we stood wrapped in the delight of excited voices, laughter and endless energy of hundreds of school children who carry the dreams of our tomorrow along with their bright futures.

Back in my studio I feel blessed to have had this interlude with innocence, because like the first monsoon rains such interludes help wash away the fatigue of confronting the endless battles with systems that choose to be corrupted.

A Lost Opportunity.

For me the biggest tragedy in the Shash Tharoor episode is the lose of hope it symbolises for a certain type of educated Indian, to join politics. In him there was this whiff of the old nostalgia of what Rajeev Gandhi's entry into politics meant for the middle classes of India. Somehow we all felt vindicated that the English educated college graduate chaap, was not something that alienated us anymore from the majority of India.

The difference however with Shashi Tharoor's entery into politics was that he did not come with the baggage of a family legacy, and so for many of us he represented the aspirations of what hard work and career planning could achieve.

The double tragedy is :

a) If it is proven that he is guilty of the misuse of the powers of office, and that he compromised his official position for financial personal gains from this affiliation of interest with the Kochi IPL bidding, he alleges he was only mentoring; then he establishes by his conduct that all entries into politics will somehow always automatically become corrupted, from self interest.

b) If it is proven that he merely miscalculated and mis-read the working of systems within Indian politics, and that this controversy resulted because of being a novice to the game of political strategies that a complex multi-party democracy demands; then here too he becomes emblematic of the assumption many make, that the middle class educated Indian would be ill equipped to handle contributing to the political system of governance. His immaturity, despite being a diplomat for so many years, is surely going to concretize this myth; and so what Shashi Tharoor stood for, for many of us, now becomes a pipe dream and we become tainted by the shadow of his stupidity.

It will become the dreaded taunt for many of us to live with, that merely being educated and articulate does not prove you have the where-with-all to contribute to change. Perhaps our hope now rests completely on the performance of Nandan Nilekani of Infosys fame, to re-kindle the belief that the ordinary middle class citizen has the potential to bring value to political governance in India. I am keeping my fingers crossed!

Waste not, want not!

Why can we not simplify life that is connected to anything controlled by the government in India?! The idiocity of the round-about game associated with ANYTHING that is government-run makes you realise that the efficiency of our country is automatically self sabotaged. My BSNL modum was giving me trouble for over a month ,and so yesterday I finally decided to put all else aside and deal with it.

My saga started at 3 in the blistering heat of the afternoon. With a skin problem where I get terrible sunburns in irregular patches I went about dodging the sun like an under-trial keeping the paparazzi at bay! Anyway the end result in procuring a resolution to my internet problem was like a treasure hunt that mapped almost the entire geography of Baroda by the time any real action was taken.

As I heaved and sweated, panted and puffed, snorted and grimaced; the telephone officials picked their noses and teeth, scratched their crotches and chewed pan, and spoke endlessly to each other over cups of tea and glasses of water as the sent me from one counter to another and one location to the next!

I am always asked if I am "foreign"!!!!! I hate this ridiculous assumption that since I am not draped in a pink nylon sari with a juda and anklets on my feet, that I am some kind of alien from another planet. Anyway I am digressing. I swallowed my irritation over all these side shows and switched into "saccharine sweet mode I-am-idiot-please-help-me" mode. I also informed them (which was true) that I needed to rush ff to a hospital to be with a patient.

Tragic stories are usually a passport to getting things done in India, and so Mr. Pan stained teethwala decides after a three hour marathon of here-now-there-next jaunt around the city, to finally release a new modum (which I was paying for, let me add), and I then believed my luck had turned!

Oh do get real, the story could not be this simple! Then commenced the configuring of the damn thingamajig! I will let you off the agony of the entire story and just say that this procedure went on for another two hours!

When Surendran came home at night I very quietly informed him "If I say it's winter right now, just agree with me today!" I think he got the message that I was feeling like a plucked chicken in a snowstorm with a one way ticket to nowhereville!

When will we clean up the obvious mess of our country. Each citizen knows this to be of imperative urgency if we are to realize the full benefit of progress. Why do we not raise our voices and demand that systems change where it matters. That we gloss over these fundamental flaws with excuses to validate and explain them away, only allows that we continue to dig our own graves by letting the governments we elect off the hook of accountability to us. Spot checks by people who can implement change, and top officials getting involved at grass root levels must now become a method at government offices to instill efficiency. India cannot afford to be this corrupted at the basic levels of management and impede the efficiency of it's citizens lives so callously. We know the power of the voice of the people. Why are we so silent?