Friday, 15 July 2011

One dark cloud too many.....

I have been walking around with my head in a dark cloud and tears that come too quickly to my eyes since the last two days. The idea of never knowing when the destructive tendencies of others can destroy the life of another, weighs heavy on my soul. Who will be the victim, targeted or accidental, in a world that today holds no explanations that make any logical sense about the "whys" of  these occurrences  leaves me weary; scrambling around inside of my head for the lifeline of optimism to keep me afloat.

The weight of love is difficult to express, especially if you have cultivated a philosophy where this is central to your ideas about life and existence. Perhaps such choices make ones emotions too tender and raw; but then for me it would be difficult to know any other way because this is the membrane by which the osmosis of  my comprehension occurs.

One of my best friends is at a crossroad in his life. A divorcee who had a terribly scarring experience ten years ago; today is desiring to remarry. The anxiety  he carries within him  not to make a mistake a second time round, floats into my orbit of concern; and I lug about this weight of worry in my heart, wishing that I could promise him a fairytale future.

It is not always the big and visible acts of violence that hold terror for some, but equally those private spaces of hidden pain or memories you chance upon in the lives of others, that can cloud the light and direction of purpose in personal journey. In the Collective Studio there are many times that a heart is heavy, and the spirit weary. It is at moments like these that the comfort of reassurance, the reminder of belief, the light of another or merely the silent understanding of a situation, makes it possible to fight another day and win.


  1. Rekhajee, this post is extremely touching; If I may add, how does one define love? We have passed the age when love has highly emotional connotations,exclusive, passionate, possessive. For me personally, love is caring for the well-being of the beloved at all levels, requiring mental, rather than just heart intelligence, accompanied by the desire to move together towards a more or less common destination. Keeping this in mind,I think quite strongly,that any marriage,be it arranged or otherwise, could succeed...
    Even as I write this, dear online comrade, this thought occurs to me, how do you read my frequent comments; With indifference? perhaps even with a certain irritation that I should be so prolific, as though I had nothing more important to do...perhaps it is a vain attempt on my part to establish a certain link, be it at the most rudimentary level...

  2. Anamikajan....your responses delight me and are received as an embrace

  3. Just one word, which englobes all messages of goodwill, "NAMASTE", Rekhajee.

  4. 'Everyday is like battling a strong wind whilst holding a lit candle.'... These words which I had read in one of your former posts have been buzzing around my ears for the past few days...So dear Rekhajee, once again here are the 'keep going' wishes, looking forward to hearing from you soon!

  5. Please continue to write, Rekhajee.