Saturday, 2 January 2010

My dirty dozen!

I was watching TV the other day and I thought what fun it would be if I had magical powers and I could instantly create make-overs for people and gift them boons, like a true blue blooded Queen should! So read on for what the Queen of Sama decrees.....

Here's my 2010 instant fix-it gift list!

A change from chairman Mao's red sun to a smaller bindi for Brinda Karat. Bharti Kher can be appointed as the Bindi consultant.

A dress designer that doesn't have a bhenji label for Barka Dutt, along with a hair stylist that hasn't recently worked in Tihar Jail.

A ban on the use of hair dyes for Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavasker, all over India and abroad.

Less starch in P. Chidambaram mundu, and instead a silk black kurta with white churidhar's please!

Rahul Gandhi ONLY in smart urban-Indian western attire and without the grungy stubble.

A gift of the rainbow to Mamta, for colour and a pot of gold thrown in!

A muzzle for Arnab Goswami, and a book on how not to interrupt when others are speaking.

A crash course, free, to all the participants of the big boss serial on how to get a life of their own.

A script writer and speech coach for our Indian cricketers.

A cook for Kareena Kapoor so that she stops looking like a half starved human being.

A curator for the National Gallery of Modern Art in Delhi and Mumbai who can differentiate between a museum space and a godown.

Trimming Manmohan Singh's bushy eyebrows so that we can see the twinkle in his eye when all else is a deadpan look.